This was the centrifuge through which they distilled the kids worth giving a shit about.
Yes, I know centrifuges don’t distill. No, I will not be making any modifications. And, if you asked in your heart, you were probably the chaff spun aside by the Iron Dais of Judgment.
chaff spun aside by the Iron Dais of Judgment.
Poetry
Wo wo wo wo! Who is the rock in the shoe that dislikes this mastapizza?
My school had one of those. One day we got the idea to tie one of the kids to it around his waist and make him run around to spin it. I still remember our teacher asking “where’s Willy?” once recess was over, then looking out the window to see him desperately trying to untie himself.
There are 3 nearby, including one at a super crowded park. I think one is getting torn out though.
I remember we didn’t stop those for anybody. You want on? Sprint and jump. Want off? I still have a vivid memory of trying to get off one, being thrown outward, and getting a bar between the legs. Went to the bathroom and found blood in my underwear. Can’t believe I still walked home after that
That’ll happen after a solid meatspinning. Merry-go-rounds can be pretty dangerous too if you’re not careful.
Mums will not let their kids on it. Dads will spun it faster to teach their kids about conservation of momentum.
As a dad I once spun it so fast I made a kid throw up. It was awesome.
I did that to my own son. He barfed in the car and I learned my lesson.
That you should have spun faster so the food would be pushed further down into him as he flew through the air?
The parents not caring is bullshit. Once my Dad came over and explained, we were doing it wrong and demonstrated for the kids a better, faster, more dangerous method before then ignoring us and heading back to the other adults.
One thing I hate about being a 90s kid is that I was not allowed to do anything fun that could potentially injure me, because religious conservative Boomer parents were afraid of anything and everything back then. I wasn’t even allowed to play StarCraft because it had “craft” in the name, and “craft” was associated with Witchcraft. My dad wouldn’t even pump gas without inspecting the handle closely beforehand because he thought get people were gluing HIV-infected needles to them.
Even after I moved out he would constantly come over unannounced to check on me. If I refused to answer, he’d call the police and file a missing person’s report. I was actually somewhat relieved when he died a couple of years ago, because for the first time in my life, I was allowed to be an independent adult at the age of 35
90s kid here: Your parents were just insane.
Not from what I saw on the news back then. The 90s (especially the early 90s after Rodney King) was fear-mongering central. Maybe you were just lucky enough to have parents who could see through the bullshit being fed to them on the 5 'o clock news. Back then everybody watched the local news.
Sorry to tell you. Controling parents exist independent of the times. Them calling the police on you is a classic abusive move which is shitty behavior in it self, but the strain on society is fucked up as well. Classic narcist behavior. We love our parents either way deep down, but no need to make excuses for them. Go be happy, enjoy your life, do better with your kids. Help them become independent while being safe. Trust me they will still love you. Stop the cycle. <3
This post makes me question my interpretation of events.
I have acquaintances who seem to have a paranoid belief that every other person in the world is a paedophile just waiting for an opportunity to kidnap their child. Growing up in the 90s, I had a great deal of freedom in comparison to this thought process. I played cricket on the streets, I walked around the neighbourhood without concern, I walked my dog in the evenings. My parents didn’t seem to think I would be unsafe without them around to coddle me.
I guess no matter the generation there are parents who go too far in one extreme or another… Though tbh, being concerned about witchcraft seems more medieval than boomer. Sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you feel more free now. I imagine it must be a complex mix of emotions.
That blows, because we’re similar age, I’m born in '87, and I look back fondly at the freedom I had as a kid. It’s a bit how I intend to model my parenting around, although it’s hard to escape modern times in my mind sometimes. But my kids will wander around the neighborhood alone (in a couple of years, still too young), get dirty, stay out til the sun goes down, that kind of thing, with the caveat of not bothering people and their properties. Probably easier said than done on my part, we shall see.
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You got lucky then. Late 80s and early 90s were peak Satanic panic. It ruined lots of us 90s kids.
I’m in Jersey (New), and while we attended Catholic services, we weren’t exactly religious, and nor were my neighbors and the town in general. Perhaps it was regional. I have heard of this, just didn’t experience it. My parents also let a little bit of Satan into their lives sometimes too, as anyone who was in their 20s in the '80s did.
I was born 87 and it wasn’t like this in England at all.
England was definitely a lot more laid-back when it came to religion back then. For example, when John Lennon said that The Beatles were more popular than Jesus, half of America lost its collective mind.
And in the 80s, Americans would throw holy water on Ozzy Osborne. He later said on his podcast that he doesn’t even believe in Satanism and the Occult; he just likes their style. But Americans treated him like he was the fucking Antichrist.
Same here. Raised by fundamentalist catholics. Its funny you mention pumping gas though haha. I couldn’t pump gas because my cousin did once and got soaked in gas. I learned decades later its because he wasn’t supposed to pump the gas but did anyway when no one was watching and squeezed the handle as he pulled it out of the pump and sprayed it everywhere.
I couldn’t play Magic: The Gathering because you “summoned” monsters and that meant summoning demons to my mom. Same story with YuGiOh and Pokemon.
Halloween was the devils holiday and was a somber affair. I wasn’t allowed to go trick or treating until I was like 10 or 11 or something. I think I eventually wore them down.
Harry Potter was the work of Satan and was going to force me to be wiccan and eat babies or something. I literally had to read it in secret like Harry studying magic with his aunt and uncle. My parents weren’t abusive like Petunia and Vernon, but I related a lot to Harry’s oppression.
I had several straight crushes in middle/high school that I wasn’t allowed to date or even really talk to.
There’s probably a lot more that I’ve finally been able to forget.
That’s not even getting into all the abuse I endured as an LGBT teen.
That sucks man. Religion ruins childhoods.
It really does. I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa, and celebrating Halloween was completely out of the question. I was 30 the first time I was allowed to go trick or treating. Now that dad’s dead, I go all-out on Halloween every single year. Suck it, you Trump-loving bastard.
(Just kidding: I love you dad. Rest in peace.)
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I don’t find it funny. All those things really happened. You misinterpreted my comment. I was saying “just kidding” to my dead dad, not you.
I had a terrible relationship with my dad, but he was still there for me when no one else was, so I can’t hate him even if he was an abusive narcissist.
But that’s not the point. The point is I know what you’ve been through, and I feel for you.
Ah. I took your last line as meaning that your entire comment was sarcastic, sorry. I deleted my comment.
Sorry for what you went through, I can relate to how shitty that must have been for you.
I hope things have improved for you and you’re in a better place now.
Damn dude, I hope things are better for you
Not really (I’m still a wage slave with severe ADHD and bipolar disorder) but the life insurance check sure helped. But now most of that is gone—even though I was smart and invested most of it—because due to a series of unfortunate events, I had to buy three cars and replace the engine in one of them since his death. If you’re interested, a brief summary of what happened is below:
Paid off the remainder of my car loan the moment I got the check. A few months later, the mechanic noticed a grinding sound from the transmission. Because it was a hybrid with a sophisticated planetary eCVT (Ford C-Max), that ended up being a $8200 bill. So I traded in the car for a Genesis Coupe BK1 3.8.
Did my first oil change a month later and found metal in the oil. I decided to just keep driving it and replace the engine once it finally blew; well unfortunately I never got to that point because a few months later I slid the car backwards into a pole in attempt to avoid a collision with a driver who merged into my lane without looking. I overcorrected and completely totaled the car. Insurance refused to pay out because it was technically my fault, and I couldn’t even part it out because the tow yard that took it wanted to charge me more than the scrap value of the car. So I had no choice but to let them keep it.
So next I bought a 350Z from AutoNation Nissan. It burned so much oil that I was literally adding a quart every 300 miles. A month and a half later, it threw a rod and I had to spend literally half the value of the car to replace the engine.
So to tl:dr things up, basically I went from $75k to under $8k in just two years, all because I got scammed by shady dealers three times in a row. My biggest regret is paying off my first car, instead of just letting it get repossessed and simply buying a brand new car. Live and learn. FWIW I also bought an OLED TV and built a kickass gaming PC with a 7700X and a 4090, so I didn’t lose all of it without having something to show for it.
Thanks for listening. I tried to keep my story as brief as possible.
Fellow 90s kid, my parents were exactly the same. Religious background, fox news constantly, I once didn’t text back within 2 hours and had a neighbor contacted via Facebook knocking on my door in my 30s (to be fair I work on call so it’s atypical). I got lectured at 18 for buying an m rated game in front of them… Police report was a bit much; but I you aren’t alone.
Side note I would recommend this nostalgic song: high fives - 90s kid anthem by Dr awkward
My old school “upgraded” it when we left… by asphalting around it.
If you had to work around the hateful little shits all day you’d be trying to look for low key ways to maim them too.
If you truly hate kids, this is what you have to do. Introduce dangers with plausible deniability.
How was I supposed to know the kids would use it to turn each other into meat crayons?
If you truly hate kids, this is what you have to do. Introduce dangers with plausible deniability.
My knuckles still hurt from the memories of slamming those box scooters into each other before they started putting handles on them.
My school had one on dirt. The panels were wood and had a hole in it. Finally, one day, we were playing and a kid’s foot went down there and got fucked up. He was like a rockstar coming into school next day with stitches and crutches.
Knees are overrated.
I only think of one thing when I see “Meatspin”. And I don’t want to search for it… But it gets You Spin Me Round stuck in my head…
Lemon Party conjures the same kind of deep trauma.
╙Ɛ(☼)3╜
The cure for that is some goatse.
Me and the boys love a French 75
That was my spray in TF 2 for a while. Had to pay it forward, right?
Good times.
Like a record, baby.
In my home village we have a much safer and much better version of it:
You can accelerate yourself by just pulling at the plate in the middle, meaning that everyone can have fun and you can probably get much higher speeds.
Back in my day, we walked for miles uphill in the snow to school, we rode the unprotected meatspin, broke all of our bones, and then we walked for miles uphill back home. Kids these days are so spoiled and pampered!!!
Meh, the constant threat of being thrown violently out into oblivion was most of the fun!
Exactly you can use the railing to hang on the outside. Greater speed and much more fun.
„Safer“ until you get flung against the metal bar before flying off. Because to get it up to speed you have to stand up.
Once the children are a bit bigger they don’t have to stand up to spin it. For smaller children its true.
Where can I get this
Got my first real concussion on one of those things. All I remember is that one minute I was flying off of it and the next minute I was at home and I had been there for several hours.
It’s a teleportation device.
Teleports kids to the ER
ER?
Look at you with your fancy “Healthcare” and “Insurance”!
We treated wounds via walking them off, and occasionally hiding behind a tree to sob silently so you didn’t get laughed at.
Meatspin?
The nighmares, they’re coming back
Are they comin’ right round?
Is that the Russian lathe video?
Here in Germany we optimized the process and just use these nowadays: https://www.stilum.com/wp-content/uploads/flecto-Karussell-auf-einem-Spielplatz-1030x687.jpg
Trust the Germans to make childhood playground injuries more efficient.
We have both kinds in playgrounds around my house here in Norway. My kids like both, but the ones from the OP is vastly preferred. They get a lot more Gs in the one with the bars.
A core memory of mine is getting flung off of one of these things because of the centrifugal force, falling on my back, and being unable to breathe for like 20-30 seconds … until I screamed at the top of my lungs, and things slowly returned to normal, while the teacher just went: oh you’re fine, don’t be a baby. I was 6.
Jesus Christ
The game was, you’d put one kid in the middle and then everybody else would do their level best to spin the damn thing so fast it would either drill into the Earth’s mantle or take off like a helicopter.
Have you seen the videos using motorbike wheels to spin these things up?
Whistlindiesel on YouTube put a jet engine on one
The moped plus roundabout was a thing a while back; maybe that’s why they disappeared?
Bosnian space program training.
