Breaking: The Indian army has accidentally shot down the planet Venus and it will be crash landing in the Himalayas in 30 minutes

Thank you for your service

Who’s got that meme with bugs bunny saying ‘No’?

Chillis are angry capsicums

Balls are meat grapes too

Dispose of murder weapon in donation box, implicate god in murder, god is arrested and jailed for 8-15 years

Keep my wife’s name out of your goddamned mouth!

To shreds, you say?

Choices paralysis is easy to overcome. Just close eyes and stab randomly at the menu

That’s how you end up with a bottle of Pinot Grigio for dinner

She just likes to keep an amicable friendship with all her ex boyfriends, no big deal!

Fuck me, people seeing this sight must have thought the future was going to be a paradise of technical and scientific wonders. If they are still alive they must be very disappointed.

Quarterlife

You don’t? I have a meme for all occasions. It really gets the ladies wet. And by ‘wet’ I mean ‘to block me’

Lass

And the presence or absence of pepper and pollen

She has bone cancer and will die in a little over one year.

He’s gone down to the newsagents to find a strategy guide magazine

Santa died on the cross for our KFC.

The US navy shot down a US navy plane in the red sea. Quite a harsh disciplinary measure if you ask me, but still preferable over a captain’s mast or some pushups.

What happens if you need to get up to take a piss or shit or get a beer?