I’ll never forget the day in elementary school where I saw a kid casually put his mouth directly on the spout. Then it dawned on me: “There are probably others like him.”
Did you by chance grow up in Pawnee? relevant Parks and Recreation clip
deleted by creator
Sounds like you were lucky then, because I remember elementary school too and probably every 5th kid did this on the regular. And have you ever dealt with the really young kids <6 years old? They’ll ask for a boost, suck that spout like a teat, and let everything that they don’t swallow run down their neck soaking their shirt, but they’ll be hydrated.
No so much lucky - I’m just a kid that grew up with a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Good thing about an anxiety disorder is that you identify risks before everyone else. It’s like a shitty super power.
We had something like the first one when I was in high school. When I was a freshmen, I saw another student drop his pants, hop up on top of it, lower into the spout so it went ALL the way up his ass, reached around and turned the water on for a second, then lifted off and shot a wave of shit-water all over the basin/wall behind it, then hopped down and ran off giggling.
Yeah…
Haven’t used a water fountain since.
Jesus
How do I unlearn to read?
Edit: Solved!
cymtcviy! yi?hj kh?ivul jyrg4@g4w3ytmc i!vy8f6lr67k5h4r65kfi!6g md65dutmyfi!vui!gyi! cutcu tctu j2jw sidhe soqn sosn dosna qpch e waosn s wlom !!
I’m afraid you actually unlearned to write. Are you sure you really can’t read what I’m saying?
Elementary school librarians told me reading would open up my mind to new possibilities. They didn’t specify what kind of possibilities.
There’s always Reddit for that.:-P
…huh?
…what…?
Public high school in a sketchy area. You’ll see some things.
I also don’t, simply because my high school had a string of vandalism where some kid was pulling all of the water fountains out of the walls. Like he was just ripping them straight out. There’s no way they could support someone putting their entire body weight on it to shove the spout up their ass.
Your school’s infrastructure was apparently even shittier than mine. In any case, he was a skinny little high schooler - that thing could have been screwed into drywall and still supported his weight.
…and if you don’t think a water fountain spout could fit up someone’s ass, I’ve got some foreign object removal stories from working in the OR that… well, you probably also wouldn’t believe, but you’d be amazed what an anal sphincter can accommodate.
amaze me, i wana hear OR stories
Butt stuff doesn’t come to the OR all that often - I think the ER handles 99% of those. We only take the worst of the worst, when forceps alone just aren’t enough and the patient requires anesthesia.
On that note, the most impressive example in terms of diameter I’ve been in was a Nerf basketball kinda thing - cantelope-sized ball of that firm foam. Even with the compression of the foam, I would not have guessed it would have been possible for someone to get that up their ass, but one dude found a way. …or, maybe his ‘friends’ found a way while he was passed out or something - didn’t get the backstory on it, but the logstics behind making that happen would have to be a 2+ person job.
Anyway, getting the basketball out wasn’t too crazy - just pulled chunks of foam out until it was in small enough pieces to yank out the rest. The impressive part was the monolith of poop that followed it - idk how long the dude waited between getting the nerf ball stuck up there and actually seeking help from a hospital, but… I don’t think I personally produce that much shit in over a week. That didn’t come out easy either - the colon reabsorbed like all of the water content from the poop, leaving it all as kind of a hard sandstone texture, so we had to chisel away at that like some kind of rectal archeologists until we got deep enough past the hardened section; then a massive log of more normal looking shit evicted itself and the extraction part was done.
Then we stuck a camera up his ass and inspected the distal bit of bowel for tears, which there miraculously were none.
So… PSA: if you want to stick something up your ass, go get a sex toy that’s actually made for that with a widened base so it doesn’t get stuck in there.
Thx for that story, ima better cancel my Nerfball order now…
There’s also insertion and water pressure issues. It doesn’t add up, I tell you.
my high school had a string of vandalism where some kid was pulling all of the water fountains out of the walls
Anyone remember that “devious licks” trend?
I sincerely wish I didn’t believe me either.
Not even remotely the same but in the 90’s mcdonalds still had salt and pepper shakers on the tables. I knew a guy who loved throwing them in the bag when he got up from the table along with the ten straws he grabbed and wad of napkins. He really was under some serious financial stress in no way due to anything he had done. I refused to use the salt and pepper shakers at his house and he kept bugging me as to why. I told him he didn’t want to know but he insisted. Finally I told him about the time I saw some kids going from table to table licking the tops of the shakers. He immediately threw them all away. Later they started to reappear and it was because he figured out at the first of the month they replaced them and the new one usually had the seal left on them.
Before you trash the guy for doing that. The guy made 80 grand one year and could barely afford food. All that money went to paying his wife’s medical bills. She had grown up inside the boundary of a superfund site out in new mexico and had all kinds of tumors and other problems. It was called a pre existing condition and his insurance wouldn’t pay for hardly anything. They finally divorced so she could get SSI. That was in the early 2000’s. This country sucked then and it still sucks.Yeah no judgement for being frugal at McD’s expense. 1) Fuck McD’s, and 2) Do what to gotta do. There was a point in my life where I got meals from the condiment station at a college cafeteria. They had free ketchup, and a hot water dispenser thing for making tea, so I’d make ‘tomato soup’ by making myself a bowl of hot ketchup water. Couple handfuls of a single package saltines, and there’s lunch. Life sucks when you can’t afford anything, but it does make you become pretty creative when it comes to saving money.
The concept of cleaning things also saves a ton of money compared to throwing things away.
They were disposable salt and pepper shakers. I know you think it saves money but you can bet some bean counter at corporate did the math to prove that wrong.
Why did he need more than 1 or 2 pairs of salt and pepper shakers though? Why did Mcdonalds need to replace them every month instead of refilling them?
I’m going to take a guess that throwing away little cheap plastic shakers each month costs less than paying a person to clean and refill them.
So into the landfill they flow!
iirc, they were those plastic shakers that didn’t actually have a way to get into them - nothing to unscrew to refill it. They were designed to be used until empty, then discarded and replaced.
Ah, I didn’t think that disposable ones would exist!
They still do exist. You can buy them at just about any store in the US. Mine are fifty year old Tupperware salt and pepper shakers. They may outlast the universe.
This is a strong argument for bidets on public toilets
Do you like live in a version of Pawnee located in Texas?
I live in the cousin-fuckingly deep south, but prefer not to get more specific than that.
Australia rejects your hierarchy.
Like cattle to the trough
And there’s always one that some kid shoved a piece of mulch in so it sprays everywhere.
Oh yeah the fucking tanbark.
I work in the industry and I have no idea why anyone would use anything other than the EZH2O for indoors. The other ones aren’t even any cheaper.
This comment just made me realize that the EZH20 is both the model type as well as a description of what it does lol
Good naming of the product I’d say
Until they come out with a new model that poisons everyone by remaining true to its name.
Makes me wonder what the VRCTL8SC is doing
Rolls right off the tl8ngue
and at least on the EZH2O you can see the quality of the filter that hasn’t been replaced since twas installed
For new construction, sure. There are lots of old units out there from before EZH2O was available and they just don’t die quickly. There not cheap to replace if it’s nonessential maintenance.
I do MEP design for commercial buildings in the US. If a job ever shows “EWC”, I don’t ask for specs, I assume the EZH2O until either the job goes out with that spec, or the client directly refuses to use that model.
Anything less, is uncivilized.
These things and kitchen sink blenders are the two most mysterious things for an European child watching US-Shows.
Why don’t y’all have water fountains?
I at least understand the water fountains and experienced them a few times here and there but the sink blender waiting to chop your fingers is a total mystery.
Garbage disposal? They have limited utility, but save you from having to transfer food scraps from the sink to the trash or compost.
The built in ice/water dispenser in the refrigerator is the one that mystifies me.Garbage disposals are a thing I can’t understand for the life of me. Like yes the food scraps are disgusting but you pull out the metal filter not scrape the food from the sink. And it isn’t free correct me of I am wrong but it costs about 50 dollars.
Try like $200-300. Mine cost $286 because I needed one compatible with my septic system. Plus of course you have to pay to have it installed, including having an outlet installed under your sink if there wasn’t already one there.
But I realllly hate the drain trap baskets. I never want to be without a garbage disposal!
That much for a motor which shreds soft food?!!
Yes indeed! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
They are not as common as TV makes it seem, at least not where I’m at in the north east.
My first UK flat - renovated in the 1980s - had a waste disposal installed. Eventually it clogged, and the plumber who came to fix it said he loved these things because they made him a lot of money. He himself would never have one. It had clogged from the dirt from potato peelings, apparently a very common issue.
Water fountains are a U.S. thing? Never knew that. Is just filling bottles at sinks more common in other countries? Do people not drink on the go as much?
There are some fountains like this in Airports and where the tapwater is pretty bad, but usually a public water fountain is an old fountain from the medieval times with some ornaments and stuff
This is the one from my home city
But they are only outside because on the inside you just fill your bottle in the bathroom
But the old medieval ones outside, that potable water? That’s awesome.
Not all, but a lot of them. If you encounter a fountain that looks like you can drink from it and it DOESN’T have a sign telling you it’s non-drinkable, you can safely drink from it
Unchilled Tab-Water and filling bottles in the bathroom. Some drinking fountains are publicly available but more of a novelty and none usually not inside of buildings.
I don’t know about others, but getting hydrated isn’t an issue here. It’s rarely significant above 30°C even in summer (and if max 2 months) and our water in my city is of such “high quality” they bottle and sell it. (Aqua di Monaco).
a class a few years ahead of me got one of the ezh2os as their senior gift. probably the most used senior gift I’ve ever seen, we were a small school and everyone used it every day. I think it hit 500,000 uses by the time I graduated a few years later
LMABF8 had the coldest water. I’m all for the EZH20 because I carry a bottle around with me and it’s less likely to spread germs and causes less waste, but I feel like the water coming out of them is barely chilled. I like my water to be so cold it is borderline painful when I am drinking it.
Nothing hit as hard as coming out of gym class in high school and getting some fresh gulps of ice cold water from the LMABF8. Peak refreshment.
Hell yeah - you’d smash that bar & hear a industrial condenser turn on to supply you with artic cold water.
Fuck those top three germ spreaders.
Bottle filler is life.
I’ve seen the EZS8L with a spout on top for us bottle filling homies. 😎️
Yeah definitely, no pictures on the entire Internet of that though
lol
I dunno what they put in those newer buttons, but they feel so satisfying XD
*Chnk* oh hell ya here comes the water
Honestly — how is this not just simple stealth product placement?
I assume this meme was originally made by some hydro homie with a special interest, since it’s not the type of product marketed to individuals.
Totally agree. But separated from the hydrohomies group, some operations vp is looking at that thinking… “hmm… it’s time. I’ll call my guy.”
I mean the meme is kind of perfect for capitalism?
sfafsadfasdfasfd
Aren’t capitalists the target audience? Hopefully we’re not here just to pat one another on the back. We want to move people closer to the good side.
What good side are you talking about? A future in which only governments control the distribution of water fountains?
I’m a capitalist anyway, but I don’t really see the downside of a world in which a company makes drinking fountains and people can buy them.
We agree on the goodness of water and a free market that makes the best water fountains available. My objection is the use of a Fediverse application serving up corporate advertising. It’s feels ookie… and this thread lightened me up. Someone pointed out the meme was likely made by hydrohomies for hydrohomies.
I am very very sensitive to corporate astroturfing but frankly this macro seems pretty innocuous. Listing the models even enhances the comedy IMO
It’s satire!
Whoosh on me then loll
I doubt the CEO cares about memes to market their water fountains. Especially on Lemmy, there’s ~40k ppl here and most would rather drink CEO blood over buying a water fountain.
I doubt people will buy a water fountain just because some people online think it’s funny, especially when 99% of their profits are for new buildings lolI want to see the meme with ceo blood now.
sfafsadfasdfasfd
These are institutional devices. Place where I work has the good work one and I like that but it’s still a product even if I’m not personally going to buy it.
Are you so deeply against “capitalism” that you’re against products as such?
Not at all but I like my advertising delivered to me on Reddit where I will never see it.
The germaphobia in me really want a version that is activated by a pedal that you step on.
But then, I’d probably be too afraid of shared water fountains to begin with.
🤮
I have to use paper towels to open doors, and probably use hand sanitizer afterwards on top of that. This is just… (no words to describe)
You are actively destroying your immune system. Now that’s irony!
My brain decrees that touching a public door handle will kill me so this is my life 😓
(I blame covid for this)
Medical advice from a stranger on the Internet, so take with salt to taste:
You may want to talk to a psychiatrist about screening for OCD. There’s nothing wrong with staying sanitary, but you deserve to live life without your brain forcing you to do things you don’t want to =)
you deserve to live life without your brain forcing you to do things you don’t want to
Tell that to my boss.
I’d rather not touch the bathroom door handle especially knowing quite a few people walk right out of a stall and skip the sink. It’s a very easy way to get sick.
That whole episode was one of the best bits of television in history.
Oh fucking hell!!!
The bottle filler is activated by proximity. I think that’s totally doable for the other part, too.
I just use my knuckles, maybe even with my sleeve or shirt covering them.
Elbow for me XD
Thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot-pole for me.
it’s funny that I’ve seen all of these in real life, though I rarely ever used them due to the obvious hygiene issues
Weak.
I glory in my conquest of our communal bacteria.
Hell yeah, I’m a goddamned fortress by now. I shrug off everything but a multi pronged attack, no matter how sustained. Pretty much have to be badly under slept, kept in tight quarters, and exposed to something virulent.
My immune system is like an advanced alien race just crashing through whole galaxies and annihilating weaker species. As it should be.
I actually hate the EZH2O. When you go to drink it activates the bottle stream in the back and reduces the water pressure so you have to go down further to drink. Well when you do that the bottle stream turns off and the water pressure goes back to normal and you get blasted in the face full force. Reminds me of my college days.
Reminds me of my college days.
Getting blasted in the face full force?
Is this a sponsorred post?
If so @The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world what’s the takeaway?
Big water fountain is targeting Lemmy.
They know their target demo, we’re all hydrohomies here.
I’m a be real, I didn’t know I needed to know about the models of water fountains I see in public spaces but now its tickled my autism and I just need to know more. Big water fountain got their money’s worth I think…
