• solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    that’s not even mallninjashit–more like backwoods redneck flea market discount bin shit

    • bcgm3@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      The day after Trump loses:

      • PatriotAddictDeals.com closes shop
      • PatriotAddictBargains.net opens for business
      • PatriotAddictBargains sales rep: “Sorry, sir, we are a completely different company in a very real and legally-binding sense, and cannot honor a refund for your Trump NFT Ninja Sword. We can, however, offer you a limited-time 10% off coupon for this handsome Trump Ninja Sword display case.”
  • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    You know it’s a real combat knife because it has a bottle opener built in. I’m maybe even kidding.

    • MTK@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Isn’t that a belt cutter? (hook knife)

      You can also see the glass breaker, it’s very common for these knifes to have a belt cutter and a glass breaker

      • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Dual purpose. Actually I tried to look up what they list it as and all I came away with is the perfect discovery of it’s pricepoint:

        “20% off”

      • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        Exactly what it looks like, yeah.

        Which, as far as I’ve ever heard it, would make it a “folding utility knife”. I’ve also never seen a combat knife without a fixed blade, because… “Hold on let me just unfold my pocket knife so I can combat you!”

        Any folding knife, again, as far as I’ve ever seen, would be more likely to be called a tactical knife. Which is just another word for utility folder IMO.

          • curbstickle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            2 months ago

            Eh, depends. I used to carry a similar knife when I was a vol FF, because seat belt cutter + glass break is handy, and the blade worked better for clothing caught in something than the belt cutter (belt cutter works best when its taut and flat, since its basically a coupon cutter).

            Worked just great for the intended purpose. What its not, however, is more than just a utility folder.

  • Hemingways_Shotgun@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    If anyone would be able to tell the difference between a “combat” knife and a fucking “pocket knife”, you would think it would be the y’all quaeda brigade of Trump supporters. But the fact that they’ll buy this shit up in droves despite knowing damn well it’s not what it’s advertised as just points to how brainwashed these cultists are.

  • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I am not going to that URL, but I’m predicting that even at “20%” off that knife is a bad deal.

    Resident knife dweeb here. You all know me; my credentials are in my post history. I am a veritable connoisseur of crap exactly like this.

    These twerps can cry “patriot” as much as they want, but this is a piece of shit OEM knife from China. The factory will do you any printing you want on the handle for a trivial upcharge. For instance, this looks an awful lot like the Top Quest T27019 (page 5, catalog here) or myriad other similar knockoff junk. The unit cost on this type of thing is about $2 each in bulk, for instance like this. Give me half an hour and I can probably figure out who the actual supplier is.

    Some rat bastard is laughing all the way to the bank with these.

    • ArchRecord@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      In case you were wondering, they are charging $69, while saying you’re saving “$100+”

      They’re also saying it’s a limited-stock item with only 150 ever made. Sure, buddy.

      They’re also selling a pack of crappy trump-themed memorabilia, a plane model, a blanket that’s supposedly “Trump” themed but has no trump branding, and a crappy electric lighter I’ve seen thousands of on Aliexpress.

      • Wogi@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        If I had had the money in 2016, I would gladly be that rat bastard. It was obvious then that magtards would buy anything with dipshit’s name on it, and you could easily slap a banner on your website that “10% of your purchase will be donated to conservative* causes.” With a disclaimer that stipulates that conservative in this case is conservation or that it’s net proceeds after costs, and include salaries and political donations in costs. Political donations in this case actually referring to planned parenthood or blue campaigns in battleground states.

        Suck money out of idiots and put it to good use.

      • MouseKeyboard@ttrpg.network
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        2 months ago

        They’re also saying it’s a limited-stock item with only 150 ever made. Sure, buddy.

        Sell 150 each of 100 very slightly different designs, claim they’re all limited edition.

        (Or, this being Trump, just outright lie and call it political interference when someone points it out)

    • Madison420@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It’s a Chinese knife in American livery it’s got levels and they’re mostly dumb or crazy and or dumb and crazy.

  • Optional@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    MRW I enter political memes to dunk on trump and find all the knife people in here making good points.

  • bl_r@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    That looks like a knife that came with the cheap walmart-brand survival kit that I bought to keep in my car.

    It is horrible. Worst knife I have ever bought.

    But it does have the seatbelt cutter and the glass breaker just like the one here. I think you can get it for a few bucks separately from the kit.

      • bl_r@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        I haven’t tried the seatbelt cutter on the knife, and i don’t even keep that knife near me.

        I’m willing to bet that the seatbelt cutter can’t be as bad as the blade is, and that piece of shit can’t hold a sharpened edge. Though that bar is on the floor. But if it is somehow worse, i wouldn’t be too surprised.

  • celsiustimeline@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago
    • Step 1: call all Democrats pedophiles (pizzagate era)
    • Step 2: claim election interference constantly to the point of mantra
    • Step 3: stage practice coup d’etat (jan 6th)
    • Step 4: sell weapons to your voter base, heavily implying that they are “addicts”
    • Step 5: I sit on the toilet.
  • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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    2 months ago

    Ha ha the poor intern that had to come up with as many descriptions as possible that weren’t "It’s a cheap Chinese knife with Trump printed on it. Must’ve taken the lad ages -

    Bold Design: Features a sleek, patriotic design with Trump insignia.

    Durable Blade: High-quality construction for both display and practical use.

    Collector’s Item: Perfect for any Trump supporter or patriotic memorabilia collection.

    Symbol of Patriotism: Show your loyalty to Trump and American values.

    Versatile Use: Ideal for display, daily tasks, or as a unique gift.

    Limited Edition: A must-have for die-hard Trump fans—grab yours while they last!

    Perfect Gift: Great for gifting to fellow patriots or adding to your own collection

      • BeatTakeshi@lemmy.worldOP
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        2 months ago

        I would just train an AI on trump’s speeches.

        “A great knife, one of the best knives in the world. It can kill sharks and batteries. Other knives are baby knives… Oooh watch me, I’m a baby knife, I can only cut diapers, mommy come see how sharp I am. Our knife can also cut diapers by the way, very effectively, I do it all the time.”

        • Aeri@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          A trump LLM sounds like one of those “man made horrors beyond my comprehension” I’ve been hearing so much about.

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    This just reminds me of Rwanda where right before the big one, they started distributing machetes which then were used to chop the opposition to death…

    But of course trump wouldn’t do that… Without trying to scam his own voters first, at least.

    • Case@lemmynsfw.com
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      2 months ago

      Yes, one would normally prefer a fixed blade.

      However, depending on local laws, that may not be possible to carry.

      That reminds me, I’m moving soon, I need to check out some various laws for the new place.