In case you’ve had your fill of major historical events over the past couple of weeks, here’s a reminder that some things never change.
This time it’s people’s eagerness to remind the world that warning signs can never quite be big enough.
The notice in question is a plaque outside the Household Cavalry Museum in London which reads: ‘Beware, horses may kick or bite.’
Unsurprisingly, it’s next to a massive military horse ridden by an officer of the King’s Guard.
Even less surprisingly, tourists frequently fail to be wary of said horse, and often get gently nipped as a reminder to stay back.
On Sunday, though, one woman was filmed plumbing new depths of obliviousness.
Despite witnessing another member of her group getting nipped after approaching the horse, she immediately sidles up to the animal and tries to pose for a photo.
The horse then turns its head and chomps on her arm over the sleeve of a Pink Floyd t-shirt.
The woman then lets out a yelp and runs over to the rest of her group, who try to calm her and tend to her bite.
She is then seen keeling over onto one knee and is heard muttering to her companions while one of them dabs her arm with something which we can only hope is soaked in lesson-learning serum.
Horses, like dolphins, are inherently good mammals that now and then have a nasty side.
As a mammal I strongly doubt there are any inherently good mammals.
Also this mammal works for a monarch. Working for a powerful mammal is the second most important red flag that a mammal is evil, secondly only to being a powerful mammal.
Don’t dolphins engage in rape…
But only with fish. Also now and then horses will step over a mouse, bite off a chicken’s head or kick a dog.
I suspect both do it just for fun.
(Note: I know plenty of dogs and horses that are friendly to each other)
Horses are glorified food that were bred to be personal transportation and war machines. They’re now largely obsolete, but people cling to an archaic romantic ideal of them. The only reason we don’t eat the stupid, bite-happy (look up cribbing) things is because we have livestock far better suited for use as food.
Don’t forget how close we are to the horse age. The time when all movement was done with horses. That last big war, the one with all Europe in arms and all those fancy fighting machines of such elaborate designs… hitler had over a million horse helping them.
Horses will fuck you up. Especially military horses, I’m guessing.
Destriers back in the day perhaps but these would largely be trained for ceremonial duties. However, they are big, powerful not 100% predictable creatures and you should probably avoid both ends as they can really mess you up. She got away lightly as they won’t have pointy teeth or a high bite force for their size (compared to carnivores or omnivores).
A horse can have a painful bite, but 99.7% of the time their bite means “please fuck off”.
If they want to make you fuck off after not heeding their warnings, they’ll use their hooves.
Møøse bites kan be pretti nasti…
Yes, å møøse bit my sister in the ærm
I feel better about paying my taxes if it goes into stuff like this.
Though not so much if it went into the education of the Metro writer who attempted whatever the hell tense they think this article is in.
What on earth is up with that website. After the video it immediately auto played film of a female prison guard fucking in a cell?!
And now you tell me?!!!
British tabloids just are like that. They’re what happens when the worst shitposters in a country organize together.
Lmao, I don’t feel bad for her.
That was so performative.
That’s definitely one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen.
