Who’s getting therapy, is that the kid from Home Movies?

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Another way that works is just to catch them on a downward tangent to their current fall trajectory, but rapidly slowing down and then turning back up. It means your scenario has to have enough vertical space to perform this maneuver, but not necessarily a lot–even a very small downward deceleration will turn death into bruises, because it’s like falling into padding.

This is a pretty funny bit, but 99% of people just see this bumper sticker and think “Another MAGA fuckhead”. There’s committing to the bit, and then there’s whatever this is.

The question is, did Cartumante go to the Bad Dragon website for references or just… look over at the shelf.

Err, you actually can’t kill 1.3 billion average americans. There aren’t 1.3 billion Americans.

This comic conveniently omits that the Republican party has been incubating the fascist alien eggs in their party for decades. And then they attached the face-hugger to themselves.

This seems like irony but if you think about the number of humans killed by bees and compare it to the number of bees killed by humans,

I’ve always been clumsy. It was bad enough that a couple of years ago I asked my doctor if I needed a neurology consult. Nobody at any point has said ADHD to me. (Or autism, I’ve probably also got that going on.) God healthcare sucks

When I saw what community this article is posted in I almost choked.

wait fuck is THAT what it is? i’ve always been sorta on the fence about whether i’m adhd, but this symptom is one i have times one million.

The missing words are “shitty” and “fucking”, btw. I feel like we’re getting crap posts like this from bots that aren’t willing to tailor their posts for places where naughty words are allowed. Or reposts of bots’ output. Either way, I’m tired of it.

if it’s the latter, just get it in writing.

[grossed-out face] RAW CHICKEN

[intrigued face] ROASTED CHICKEN

You did it OP, you discovered the reason humans cook food

I thought everyone did this, I don’t think anyone in that classroom was actually learning anything about the contents of the text, all anyone could think about is “don’t fuck up saying words out loud”

If you are putting something in a special place, SAY IT OUT LOUD while you are still looking at it. “I’m putting the screwdriver on this shelf.”

You’ll still forget but you’ll feel extra dumb when you finally find it again.

Okay but seriously why does Alice immediately bring up a hypothetical person getting bitten when I’m in the room bleeding from my actual dog bite? Alice doesn’t give a shit about me.

They’re gonna shoot people trying to come in, aren’t they

This is a weirdly perfect photo considering the genre of subject matter.