OK, good point. I deserve the downvotes.

I’ve done this, but into my heel. The good news is that it didn’t go all the way through because of my heel bone. I’m lucky I wasn’t about 6 inches back.

Thank you for using the correct version.

“Angry mayonnaise noises” brings to mind an image of someone finger blasting a jar of mayonnaise while screaming.

One day, I’ll find out that the dirt they’re going to vacuum up… IS ME

Yes, but also you can partition it into rooms and tell it to just vacuum specific rooms. I didn’t think I’d use that feature very often, but I seem to be using it a lot in rooms that we spend a lot of time in, like our kitchen.

I hope he doesn’t suck up any poisoned wine.

“Let’s talk about those names you gave us…”

Love it. Naming the next vacuum this!

Jesus christ I laughed so fucking hard

Depends on the person…

Good news! We’ll be exctinct long before this happens. One less thing to worry about!

Iced buns

Oh whoops, ooh! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!

So thicc I’m gonna bust a nut

This is how it is where I work.

Oh my god.

I used to take great pride in carving the cranberry sauce for everyone.

What about putting it in the wrong port

I… agree… with MTG?