Use a laptop to… Feel great? Not sure what exactly is meant here.

All is well that ends well

Once my colleague’s dad threw gasoline on a fire and got 3rd degree burns, so oxygen is bad.

Yeah, but it’s a lot faster to dry it after use/cleaning.

The mystery is that iron will rust if wet. The care instructions are “don’t leave it wet for a long time”.

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Oh yes, all that money spent on cruise liners will definitely distribute over society

Maybe if we identify enough threats, we could do some ethnic cleansing defend ourselves also in Syria

Yeah it seems it’s supposed to go somewhere and not be an absurdist “okay then” kind of joke

You don’t keep flour, yeast, olive oil, canned tomatoes, cheese and toppings?

Be the change you want to see in the world

Modern edition. Sword still usable with minor fiddling.

I’m sure they’ll be really mad about the sorting when they burn it all on a beach in Turkey

Good on ya. I have a colleague that’s over 50 and he’s broke all the time, pretty meh life situation

You probably should stash some away for when unexpected things happen. Unless you want to be that guy who always tries to pay expenses with credit card debt

I think he meant Bush for saying that Christmas shopping was a patriotic duty

Wondering if I remembered to bring my car key while driving

Akshually the Chess clocks don’t show seconds until you are below 10 minutes

My Casio gets updated daily from an atomic clock. It knows what time it is.

Smoked every day and had some edibles with a friend. After it kicked in, it took about half an hour before we were way too high, went inside and were knocked out. For a random person experiencing that without knowing what they’d taken, they’d definitely think something was wrong. Maybe panic time instead of chilling on the couch and sleeping it off.