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Cake day: July 25th, 2023

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  • If you can remove the alcohol from any “cocktail” and still have more than just flavored ice or a dirty glass, you were drinking slightly alcoholic mocktails the whole time.

    Old Fashioned mocktail is a cherry on top of a large ice cube that you’ve used to bludgeon some sugar and an orange.

    A Sazerac mocktail is akin to an empty glass someone just drink a sweet lemony drink from. You don’t get the lemony drink, just the dirty glass.

    A margarita mocktail is salty lime flavored ice. This is basically a daquiri mocktail too, adding a strawberry seems popular.

    A Manhattan mocktail is a sweetened cherry in an otherwise empty glass.

    A mojito mocktail is a bit more substantial, minty sugar water with a hint of lime.

    A mint julep mocktail, again just minty sugar water.

    A white Russian mocktail is just a glass of cream over ice.

    A mimosa mocktail is just a nearly empty glass of orange juice.

    The non-alcoholic parts of a cocktail are rarely more than a quarter of the volume if they’re made properly. Most cocktails are a half oz of sugar water and a citrus flavor. The other 2/3 of the volume (not counting the ice) is alcohol. Just order a soda, soda water (with or without a garnish), tea, or my favorite a Topo Chico and lime.