cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/19575010
show transcript
argamoth asked:
In “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”, we see The Grinch realizing the spiritual meaning of Christmas. What branch of Christianity do you think he was / converted to?cryptotheism answered:
I think it’s probably a branch of Christianity unique to Who-kind. They have Christmas, so I assume Christ also appeared to them as a Who.They probably have their own whimsical Dr. Seuss version of the church. He had Who apostles, and one of them was the parallel for Peter named Rocko or some shit.
lew-basnight replies:
Toying with the idea of a Dr Seuss version of the new testament in my spare timecryptotheism replies:
The line of King David and God interbred!Born in a manger with straw for a bed!
Rewrite the gospels! This can’t be ignored!
Where-o-where is the son of the Lord?
Huh, the commenter mentioned it really casually but its a fun fact that Peter is actually just a nickname for the apostle Simon that does essentially mean Rocky or Rocko. The original name Petros just means rock like in the word petrified.
Interbred? That makes Jesus kinda like the Xenomorph, right?
Obviously Jesus is the grinch and this is the real story of Christmas. The whos are pur closest evolutionary relative and this story takes place before the old testament and has been passed on orally, details were lost until secretive archeologist Dr.Seuss had a vision of the past and shared it with his art
Let’s see. Stole from the working class, apologized when he returned all their shit, suffered no consequences, advocates for Christmas, sells merch.
Sounds like Capitalist Orthodoxy to me