Ronald Reagan? Donald Trump? The actor!?

Omg I wish I had that many rubber spatulas

Another Daily Mail song

I know it’s supposed to be trump but this almost reads like free-form poetry and it’s goddamn beautiful

Hey! Fuck you!

It looks like you couldn’t decide on “bizarre” or “bazaar” so you split the difference. Bazaar is a market place, bizarre is weird. Just fyi, not trying to be a dick about it happy holidays love you

I boofed an Apple once, now I have a prostate orgasm every time I get a call

I just woke up from a nap, I didn’t even know who I am

I had one of these

Something something immigrant song

And then there’s the aliens!

(alec baldwins character did actually shoot a guy at the end of season 5 episode 21 but that was a full season and a half later)

Sharthog

How dare you call them sea slugs and not nudibranchs

This is false, generals are raised on Kim’s breast milk, which turns into cheese upon leaving his glorious nipple.

God damn it I’m so done with this world

Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

They’re just foil from chocolate coins. Kim ate all the chocolate, of course

Sheer

Why do they all look like stroke victims??

Also, what are the medals for? Least credible answer gets a prize