Three dudes wearing baseball caps around a card table with some Amazon Basics audio equipment always win.

Janet Jackson’s Roomba Nation

In the southeastern US, we have plenty of fatback in stores, among other odds and ends. The employees laughed when I had to ask what it was.

Set it on “waterproofs” for some Urotsukidōji: Legend of the Overfiend level nasty

“Mom, I’m getting fed up with this orgasm!”

A little direct action can be surprisingly effective

Gotcha, thanks for the info!

From AP News:

In a news release, police say officers made contact with the man who was then arrested on unrelated charges

Same old shit, just come up with something like “he took 31 minutes in the dining area so we got out the batons”

Thoughts and prayers are considered “out of network” on this one my dude

It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood!

“Let’s pull into this gas station and… oh my.”

“And now, a fireside chat with the president… and some kind of water jug contraption in a Home Depot bucket”

Ok so strictly speaking it was a specific mustard colored rectangular Tupperware bowl that often held soup leftovers in the fridge. Occasionally it held popcorn. For a small child who was sick and couldn’t reliably get over a toilet to puke, it was the designated “puke bowl.” For the record, I don’t believe poop knives actually exist, but in this instance, your wife is correct.

You mean the popcorn container/puke bowl?

Volunteered at a hospital in 10th grade for community service. Walked home 2.5 miles each time, partially along an expressway. I wasn’t allowed to have a cell phone because of the evils of screens (the Nokias had just switched to color, god forbid). It would’ve been weird not to walk home and wait hours until a parent was free when I lived that close. Shoutout to the eternally on-duty 7-11 employee Ray who sold me Gatorades.

You don’t wanna know

The intent was the problem. They knew what they were doing.

And I’d like to wish every 3rd party voter a very hemorrhagic stroke

It’s not so much a crucifix but a lowercase letter T for his low-testosterone he’s so obsessed with