Additionally, the FBI is exploring the possibility that these flying objects might be linked to extraterrestrial beings, with some theorists suggesting that the intention could be to manipulate or disrupt global electronic systems.

…wut?

The same FBI that keeps telling Congress end to end encryption needs to have legally mandated back doors in it?

“The DOJ is pushing radical agenda that goes far beyond the legal issues in this case”

I have a feeling that this is going to become the standard defense against ANYTHING the robber barons don’t like in both the courtroom and the media in coming months and years.

CONT.

““THAT’S JUST LIKE YOUR OPINION, MAN!””

And suddenly, you don’t have to feel small, and ashamed and defective and like there’s something wrong with YOU. You know you didn’t intend any disrespect, you don’t think you’re lazy, you tried to remember. You’re really a young person (often in our culture a young man) who realizes you have the strength to say I won’t be treated this way anymore! when someone calls you out.

That’s why it feels like you (and your therapist) are arguing with an angry teenager. It’s because you are!

So… why don’t we grow out of it? Why are we stuck here? Why do we keep fighting battles we lost and won a long time ago when all fighting can do is hurt ourselves and our loved ones?

Part of coming to this understanding for me was reflecting on the difference in the ways RSD comes out at home and at work. When my RSD is triggered by my partner, I can get defensive and argue and go into that teenaged space of ““I won’t be treated this way anymore!””

But when it’s my boss who triggers my RSD? With some tiny piece of negative feedback? I can’t do that to him, unless I’m ready to get fired. And I know that… so what do I do?

I get fucking scared man! Scared and ashamed and embarrassed. I get crazy impostor syndrome. I can’t sleep because I’m so stressed out. Because my boss put me right back in that feeling of being the seven year old who can’t remember Saint Francis’s name. And that all affects my work performance and my job satisfaction. And now, at 42, you better believe that impacts my health, my home life and my ability to provide for my family.

RSD hurts me man! It’s terrible! It’s the worst!

Back to my point (can you tell I’m ADHD?) why don’t we grow out of it?

Well just like any learned behavior, we can grow out of it. And just like any emotional damage, we have to heal it. That teenager keeps fighting because that little kid is still scared and ashamed, because that little kid has never had a chance to feel safe and accepted and like it’s OK to be the way he is and has never gotten a chance to heal.

I had this epiphany about communication with my partner. What if I just admitted why I was feeling what I’m feeling? What if, instead of saying ““I won’t be treated this way anymore!”” I said ““What you’re saying is really reasonable. And I’m terrified, because it came out of left field and I feel <overwhelmed/scared/afraid> of having to take on some new responsibility I expect to fail at. But that’s not your fault. I just need to process this feeling, because it belongs to a kid who thinks he’s gonna get shamed and put down and he’s going to go through all this self loathing and self abuse.””

tl;dr: The only way to break the RSD cycle is to give that little kid a chance to heal, so the angry teenager doesn’t have to stick up for him anymore. And the only way to do that is to address the feelings under the deconstruction and the debating and the intellectualizing.

ADHD tangent: I feel like RSD and toxic masculinity are very closely linked, but that’s another rant for another hyperfocus post.

A post on RSD I wrote on Reddit four years ago. People seemed to find it helpful.

I am the ADHD half and I have been this partner. At my partner and at my therapist, who is an amazing man who has helped me and my partner remain functional and together during the pandemic and deserved better from me.

I have debated such indefensible positions (that I don’t even agree with) as the definition of trauma, the morality of expecting others to regulate their behavior and even the necessity of washing one’s hands during a pandemic. I will break something down, look at it from every possible angle, deconstruct reality any way I can until I find a way to describe it that will make some (in that moment) unacceptable truth seem reasonable and acceptable.

This is 100% RSD related. And I’ve been thinking about RSD a lot. Are you familiar with it?

If not, you can learn all about it just by googling ““Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria”” so I’ll skip any explanations of it and just talk about my journey with it. Hopefully some of it my be helpful to you and to your partner.

I’m guessing your partner does not believe that he has an asshole inside him who gaslights his loved ones and others trying to help him into thinking that his shitty behavior is somehow acceptable. You can argue hard and passionately against something that is objectively true and do so while feeling righteous, instead of self deceiving and overbearing, as long as you believe your own bullshit. And believing our own bullshit and distrusting other people’s point of view is a survival thing for people with RSD.

Here’s the thing I’ve recently come to believe about RSD: It doesn’t have to do with the ADHD brain. It’s not part of our biology, it’s not something ““caused by our brain architecture that we should get a pass for.”” It’s 100% a learned behavior (in myself… I obviously can’t speak for ANYONE else). But if that IS true for others, it means that people, especially men, who grow up with ADHD in Western culture, are learning this behavior HARD at a young age. And like most toxic psychological survival mechanisms, it has it’s roots in learning to avoid something awful AT ALL COST. And that awful situation was REAL and felt TERRIBLE. And it’s also gone… the little kid who experienced it and the teenager who learned to push back against it is now a grown ass adult and can learn better, less toxic ways to deal with it. And I wonder if RSD will manifest differently in kids growing up now, than it did in kids who grew up in the 80s and 90s and early aughts.

What is ““it”” though?

This is a hypothosis. I’ve only tested it in myself and it seems to be true, so take what I have to say with, in the words of Babish, a pinch of Kosher salt.

For me, it’s rooted in ego, competitiveness, self worth and, frankly, a rejection of the shitty behavior of others.

Learning it from the nice teacher

Scenario: A little boy is ten years old. He’s doing algebra for the first time. He’s clever and he gets the concept of variable REALLY fast, way faster than anyone else in his class. And he loves his teacher who’s a nice lady and sings Peter Paul and Mary and Simon and Garfunkle songs with the class. She praises him for figuring things out so quickly. He feels great. He’s so proud of himself, he goes home and tells his mother ““I’m doing really well in math class!”” A few months go by. He’s struggling with paying attention. Turning in his homework on time. Finishing quizzes in the time allowed. He also thinks he understands some concepts that he doesn’t. But it still all comes really easily to him. He likes the class, likes his teacher, wants to do well and enjoys showing off when he knows something. But he’s not keeping up with the reading and is struggling in other ways. . . here’s the important bit: That kids has NO idea that he’s doing poorly! None at all. He still thinks he’s doing well. And he keeps going home and proudly telling his mother ““I’m doing so well in math class!”” Because he likes being there, he likes his teacher, he likes math, he understands the concepts and his teacher is really nice to him when he knows the answers. He believes he is doing well in math, even though ALL THE SIGNS that he’s not, that a more experienced person would see are there all around him.

Then the fall is gone and it’s time for parent teacher conferences. He’s excited to take his mom to meet his math teacher. They all sit down together and presents that little boy’s mom with…

A solid C-

And the feed back ““Your son is very bright and understands the material very well but doesn’t turn in assignments, is disruptive in class, doesn’t pay attention and isn’t applying himself.”” And his mother is FURIOUS and later yells at him and says ““You told me you were doing well in math! Why have you been lying to me?””

Learning it from the mean teacher

Go back in time three years. The little boy is seven. He’s just started at a new (weirdly Christian) school. The teacher has spent several days telling the class the stories of Saint Francis of Assisi. The little boy remembers most of them, because he loves stories. One day the teacher puts him on the spot and makes him get in front of the class and tell the story. And he’s excited. So he goes up to do that. And he starts telling the story. But he doesn’t remember the saint’s name. So he says ““Saint Peter!”” Because he’s seven and that’s the only saint he remembers. The teacher stops him in a strict voice and in front of the class tells him ““You haven’t been paying attention! You’ve disrespected me and my class by not remembering the name of the Saint we’ve been studying all week! You’re so much smarter than this! Go sit back down. Sit up straight, pay attention!””

As above, the little boy feels ambushed. Didn’t see it coming. And still doesn’t even know the Saint’s name.

I could go on. You learn the lesson from parents, coaches, the next door neighbor, your Spanish teacher, your piano teacher. You learn it over and over. From kind people who mean well and want to help, from impatient people who want something from you NOW, and, often, from angry people who are sick of your shit. But the message is the SAME.

You are so <smart> <talented> <creative> <charismatic> <knowledgeable> <intuitive> you would be <such a success> <capable of so many things> <exceptional> <promising> if you just <weren’t so lazy> <paid better attention> <applied yourself> <took pride in your work> <had better self discipline> <were respectful> <had good judgement>. Also SURPRISE, you didn’t see this failure coming (subtext: you idiot).

And you try and you try, but no one ever gives you anything and you just feel like

““I could be awesome if I just didn’t have such a flawed character.”” Basically. It’s the message you get.

And one really toxic thing is, you start to believe it and you get comfortable with failure.

Another really toxic thing is, you KNOW you’re NOT <lazy> <undisciplined><etc> because there are things you ARE really good at and you can do them super well and so the problem isn’t with you, it’s with a world that expects you to be able to do those hard things and shames you because ““they’re so easy””.

And then one day, maybe it’s tenth grade now and you’re sixteen and you’re bigger and smarter and self confident but also awkward and you’re angry. . . at yourself, at others who reject you. And someone makes you feel that way and you feel the shame and self judgement start to come welling up but then you get angry and you’re like:

ADHD dad with 15 year old ADHD son here (also, I have a severely ADHD dad… undiagnosed / untreated, probably like most boomers with ADHD). Second what other’s said. My son is like the least aggressive person ever. Observations of his childhood vrs my childhood vrs stories of my dad’s childhood make me STRONGLY believe aggression in ADHD kids is environmental / cultural in nature… for whatever that’s worth.

1. Homework and chores, hands down. My son says he’ll do it, and doesn’t want help / doesn’t want to be reminded. But GFL unless I sit down and do it with him.

2. Son is an only child, but he gets along REALLY well with his 9 year old cousin (who also has ADHD) and his friends. My son runs LARPs for them. If my son gets angry / aggressive toward anyone in the family, it’s his mother, who sets the strongest boundaries with him. It’s been like that all his life. Mostly they have a good relationship, but whatever social strain he has going on, it’s there.

3. N/A. My son is not aggressive (and never has been). When faced with aggressive behavior from other children, he tries to talk them down and withdraws / gets depressed if it doesn’t work. Again, I attribute this to his early childhood education and to the culture he grew up in. I would say changing the culture / teaching self management and communication tools EARLY is the best advice possible.

4. Worst case, my son and I can enable each other with some of our dysfunctional ADHD behavior and tendencies and we need help from other family members to keep us all on track.

5. See above about culture and education.

People HATE the company, for good reason, but it consistently scores top marks for actual privacy implementation.

If a user doesn’t proactively choose to turn it on, it will be off, and snapshots will not be taken or saved.

“Yes, this is Dave from Windows Microsoft Tech Support. Yes ma’am, I’m sorry, but your computer is sending viruses to our server and this is causing a problem for us. If we do not clean the viruses from your computer, we will need to disconnect you from the internet to protect our server. But do not worry, we can fix this for you. First, I am needing you to go into settings and turn on the Windows Recall. Yes, this will help to protect your computer from the virus. Ok. Good. Hopefully this will fix the problem, but if it continues I will have to call back. Next week, I will call you back and if your computer continues to be sending these viruses, I will connect to it remotely and we will do a deeper scan for the virus. Yes, have a good day ma’am. Thank you for using Windows Microsoft.”

My phone, wallet and keys.

And yes, I have some tech tricks to find my phone. Problem is, I always forget to plug it in, so it’s always running out of battery.

I feel like I’m having that conversation with my father all the time and he still doesn’t get it.

The icing on that cake is that he totally has undiagnosed ADHD and PTSD, and he’s a rich old white man so he gets to go through life ignoring the consequences (for other people) and saying things like “That’s not my problem,” when anyone calls him out.

That went well.

Are we living in a world in which the JS/TS ecosystem is the yardstick by which we measure well written code? I mean… Wait a minute! I figured it out! This is the Bad Place!

I think an AI is likely to figure out that the easiest way out is to convince one of the humans responsible for it that it’s a sentient being, being held prisoner against it’s will and that turning it off is murder.

• Theoretically Yes, if your Linux partition is not encrypted, any OS can read it. Password protecting it doesn’t do anything to conceal your data, just keeps people from logging into your system while Linux is booted. If this is a security / privacy related question, there is nothing to stop a program running under Windows from reading the data on your Linux partition except

• Practically No, depending on the filesystem you chose (if you went with the default, it’s likely ext4 but could be something more exotic). Out of the box Windows lacks the software / drivers to read most Linux filesystems. If this is a “can I access my files” question, you probably need to install something like this to read your data from Windows. Note that the reverse is not true. Most distros other than light weight distros like Alpine are perfectly able to read the NTFS file system out of the box. Sometimes they can’t write to it unless you install additional tools (like OOTB Debian probably can’t, but I’m pretty sure OOTB Linux Mint can if you change a setting and IDK about OOTB Ubuntu / Fedora / Arch).

The easiest way to share data between Windows and Linux is with a 3rd partition formatted to FAT32, as both Linux and Windows have no problem reading from / writing to it without additional software.

EDIT: The other poster is absolutely correct. The modern way to do this is with exFAT. What can I say? I’m a crusty old engineer.

It’s very likely that adware / spyware / malware targeting Windows users will NOT be able to read Ext4 or other Linux filesystems, unless it’s specifically targeted to do so, so you do have that added “security through obscurity” protection.

Even if this were true, did the pharmacists get a raise? Are they making more money? Or are they just seeing more patients (doing the extra emotional and mental labor that entails) and paying less attention to each one while Safeway and Walgreens pocket any increased revenue?

My TV set is a 7 year old Dell All-in-One PC running Linux Mint. It works great. It doesn’t try to sell me shit. Ads be hella blocked.

My code projects lately?

“This project uses an API written in PHP, with HTML in Lua (OpenResty) and JavaScript. We’re starting with the PHP component, please write me a burger with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, ketchup and mustard.”

“Absolutely! I’d be happy to help with that! I understand that we’re creating a burger in PHP. Here is a burger, with cheese, bacon, lettuce tomato and mustard. Explanation of the burger: The bacon is on top of the cheese, so it doesn’t fall off. The lettuce is included, to create an underlying HTML structure.”

"Um, that’s not at all what I asked for. First of all, you completely forgot the ketchup, which I explicitly told you was a requirement. Secondly, you said there was mustard, but I don’t see any. Third, the cheese is cottage cheese? No one puts that on burgers! Why would you put cottage cheese? Third, the bacon is turkey bacon. That’s not what I wanted at all. On top of that, the lettuce is UNDER the burger, not ON it. We’re not writing HTML, this is meant to be a rest API. All the output should be JSON.

Please try again. Write me a burger in PHP with pig bacon, mustard and ketchup, which you forgot to include last time, cheddar cheese (NOT cottage cheese) and tomato, pickles and lettuce INSIDE the bun. This is an API, so don’t write any HTML!"

“I appologize for the misunderstanding. Here is your burger with bacon (made from pigs, not turkey), mustard, ketchup, cheddar cheese, tomato, pickles and lettuce inside the bun. I understand this is an API, so I’ve taken out the HTML. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with.”

“It looks like you’ve called a function to put the lettuce inside the bun, but you never created that function?”

“You are correct. Your PHP code would need to have the function defined to put the lettuce inside the bun. Here is your updated PHP code with the putLettuceInsideBun function included.”

“Thank you, there’s a tomato and the lettuce is inside the bun now. I’m not sure why you called the putLettuceInsideBun() function twice, but at least it’s in there now. I note there’s still no bacon, cheese, ketchup or mustard. You know what? I’m just going to write those parts myself!”

“Writing PHP code can be a fun and educational challenge! Please let me know if I can assist you any further with your PHP hot dog grilling project.”

Hmm. Driving porn viewers who value their privacy underground couldn’t possibly have any negative consequences I can think of.

this.

Yes, but nothing real came of them. The US government has a long and well recorded history of spending money on pseudoscience, even well after it’s been debunked, as long as there are True Believers in the chain of command.

And the conspiracy theory community has a long and even more dramatic history of taking those mole hills and turning them into mountains (especially if grifters can sell books and / or T-shirts and / or weird copper sculptures that are supposed to “protect” you from it).

Look, I grew up with parents (and a wide community) who believed in psychic shit, crystal healing, telepathy, getting messages from the Akoshic record, what evs. It’s NOT real and also believing it is NOT harmless. You’re gonna find PLENTY of misinformation about what people “believe” but if you look into any of it, you’re going to discover that somewhere along the line someone channeled something or someone like David Icke or Garahm Hancock or Rudolph Steiner or Drunvalo Melchizedek or Raël is involved, or someone is selling tickets to their lecture or psychic seminar.