Time to go all Wilford Brimley on his ass.

Reminds me of the first time I worked in a newsroom in the early 2000s. When the repeated slamming wasn’t enough, the whole phone would go flying across the office. I, unfortunately, had the desk by the wall, in the prime firing line. My reflexes became boss in those first 3 months.

Reich calls out the Führer, there’s a headline that writes itself.

Exquisite Monty Python reference. Bravo!

What’s next? Femtofunctions

Command and Conquer: Orange Scourge

Ok, good first step. When do the prosecutions for physical abuse start?

Henry is in your nostril, preventing you from breathing

BTRFS, wasn’t that Dennis Rader 🤔

“Uh… Cuno doesn’t fucking read!” He quickly glances at the fence. “Fucking book shit, fucks with your mind…”

I thought Ballistic Gel Torso was the actor from The Usual Suspects, no?

He truly is the Holy Farter

Fecal Mist, the new fragrance for him, by Dior.

In the same cubicle is an angry, impatient toilet. It has a goatee.

Explains the wooden acting in Hudson Hawn

• Edit: I’m leaving the typo because it’s funnier than the film

Image of Brits still singing ‘God save the queen’ 2 years after her death

Stick red strobe lights on the front and that’s looking a lot like KITT’s mom.

If you’re all ears, how would you propose to use the soap?