I wonder if they got access because some 19 year old is going around installing backdoors into government systems.

I’m sweating right now because I’m still waiting on one last 1099

A company I worked for had a policy that if your laptop got stolen from your car, you would be required to pay for the replacement. So this was basically me whenever I had to travel for that job.

Isn’t everyone’s subconscious from Philly?

Have you scheduled your colonoscopy yet?

I had the style, I had the ambition
Read all the authors, I knew the right slogans

I’m pretty sure if my foot ever stops shaking I’ll explode. Church was the worst for me as a kid. My dad would hold my knee down the entire time.

It sucked the first time music from my teen years made it on to the classic rock station. But it hurt hearing stuff from my 20s on there now.

If I had to guess, it’s probably people using talk to text.

Sadly it’s Ryan Seacrest now

I always set the last button to the TV guide channel. It made it less suspicious if they saw the channel change. Or at least that’s what I reasoned.

I had a similar trick. If I set the VCR to channel 4 and the TV to channel 3, it would shift all the cable channels down one. So Cinemax which was channel 14 and blocked would come in as channel 13 completely clear.

A 71 Hemi Cuda is my dream car, but there is no way I’d have that kitchen

I have my concealed carry license so I take the bottom one. The shorter length makes it easier to conceal.

No, but according to my wife they are family heirlooms. They start with her great-grandmother, her grandmother, her mom, and her’s.

There is a road about 10 miles from my house that is just rural and empty, has a huge shoulder to ride on, and no major elevation changes. My perfect Saturday morning was riding 20-30 miles on that road.

…And then the county went and put chipseal down. It created so much resistance on my tires that it felt like pedaling in mud. And it only got worse overtime because all the loose chipseal the cars kick up piles up on the shoulder. It just breaks my heart.

The one that drives me insane is using the touchscreen on my Surface:

• Go to a channel’s page
• Click on the video tab
• Scroll through and find the video you want to watch
• Click on the video and YouTube slides to the playlist tab instead of starting the video. Every fucking time.

I had to travel out of the country for work, so the night before I got all packed up and put my passport and wallet on the end table where I always kept them. Next morning I woke up and was getting ready to head to the airport and my wallet was gone. I tore apart my entire house trying to find it. Just as I was about to call the airline to reschedule my flight, my wife found it. It has slipped off the end table hit the arm of the couch and got stuck in a little cut out decorations around the edge of the end table. Just perfectly balanced, so it didn’t fall when I was pulling everything apart.

There are plenty of people who go out there and take their picture on the X where he was shot. Although I do get some enjoyment from watching them quickly realize that it is actually a very busy street and drivers will not slow down for them.

Blue Powerade slushy from Sonic on a hot summer day is the GOAT