Being around for free drinks is pretty on brand for actual Jesus, too.

Also, apparently the party of “humans can affect climate”.

This dovetails nicely with my theory that Jesus hasn’t come back yet because we invented the nailgun.

Pretty sure Jesus was a stoner and party monster. He was always getting invited to rich guys’ houses for dinner and the Pharisees always accused him of being drunk when he argued with them. His favorite woman was a lady of negotiable affection. Plus, only a stoner could come up with “yeah but, you’ve got a whole log in your eye, maaaan.”

Why they gotta do Marika dirty like that?

I always forget about that. Also we call anoraks “windbreakers”, which…

Sometimes my mom calls a fanny pack a strap-on. This is like that.

Pretty much yeah. I was going to say an episode of Fear Factor but same thing.

If you read it the right way, the book of Jonah reads like a really weird episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Or, like, make mana fall from heaven or give the pastors the occasional plague of quail to handle food requirements.

He found it in the wilderness? That seems easy to narrow down and verify.

It kind of does that for everybody?

Yeah well Chuck Norris didn’t invent the rolling office chair.