Lisan al Haribo!

it’s an old dwarvish expression

Yeah I never heard anyone say “won’t someone think of Osama bin Laden’s, like, 30 fukken kids?” Genghis Khan had so many goddam kids that we’re still finding bits of Mongol warlord genome stuck in random places like it’s craft glitter. Fuckin’ Leopold II had four kids, went off to make people-hand soup down in the Congo, and then had three more kids while he was doing it! This is not necessarily an indicator of virtue, folks!

The law offices of Goldfarb, Goldfarb, Evans, McAllister, Michaels, Fong, Stanley, Dewey, Cheatum, Livingston, Caldwell, Cochrane, Loblaw, Goldfarb, Walters-Metzengerstein, Downey jr., Bridges, Mandelbrot, The Boot About to Lodge Itself So Far Up Your Ass You’ll Need a Dentist to Get It Out & Howe c/o the Office of the Attorneys General of the Commonwealths of Kentucky, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania & Virginia d/b/a Our Entire Legal Staff is Going to Cook and Eat You Figuratively and Then Literally, You’re Fucking Dead Kiddo, LLC., Plaintiffs,

•                   - against -
  

The Starving Orphans Defense Fund, Defendant.

Pro tip: If you have to sue someone named “Fair Democracy”, make sure your company’s name is like, a billion paragraphs long so by the time people make it to “- against -” they’re too exhausted to keep reading

In the business we call that the ol’ Patriot Act Maneuver

(alec baldwin’s character did actually shoot a guy at the end of season 5 episode 21 but that was a full season and a half later)

“Man, what a long week, huh?”

“Lemon, it’s Tuesday.”

Despite its name, so-called kidney disease is rarely caused by an overabundance of kidneys

Furthermore, as a creation of Victor Frankenstein, calling the monster “a Frankenstein” is no more inaccurate than calling Guernica “a Picasso,” or a 1996 Camry “a Toyota.”

I’ve found the venn diagram of those who most frequently try to get me to watch videos on their phone, and the people who watch said videos in a third-party browser on a device that supports extensions, is just two distant circles. Your mileage may vary.

For me it’s more that youtube videos are a browser with an ad blocker activity.

Maaan, all I got was some stupid spatulas.

Once had an order arrive on-time, but the tracking information never got updated and kept telling me the package was “running late” and pushing back the expected delivery date, and then after like a week of that they just said “sorry, it’s been delayed indefinitely” and gave me a refund. For an order I’d already received. And I mean, I wasn’t gonna be the one to tell 'em they were wrong.

hey I’ll have you know I keep all my broken earbuds in the same box in the garage with all the other cables and assorted dongles I can no longer identify and will likely never use, like any responsible citizen should

and then you’d just replace them with one of the other three dozen you bought from Wal-Mart for five bucks back in 2016

Someone, somewhere has evidently misinterpreted the fact that US presidential candidate Kamala Harris (pictured center) is of Indian ancestry - as in her family is from the country in south Asia - and instead photoshopped her into the stereotypical Native American “Indian” aesthetic. Why they have chosen to do this eludes me.

There have been several violent incidents in reaction to published depictions of the Islamic prophet Muhammad, which is strictly forbidden by some interpretations of the Sahih al-Bukhari, one of the major Sunni Islamic texts.

I’m assuming that’s what’s being alluded to here.

The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in…

“In order to adequately test our new carbon capture system, obviously, we had to dump a couple trillion more tons of carbon into the atmosphere. Which, yeah, granted, does make it all that much more upsetting that the system didn’t actually work.”