I hate to be the one to tell you this, but maybe it’s just you who can’t bring the couch to completion…?

A special kind of chuckle.

"hehe…^FUCK. "

Every fucking “select the squares” Recaptcha I do I end up failing multiple times. Am I a mf robot or do other people experience this too?

respecc

“Donut.”

Oh I will. (─ ‿ ─)

They’re the leading cause of death in children.

Uh…WHAT? Ain’t no fucking way. *checks statistics*

…😳 what the actual fuck. Y’all doin alright down there?

B-boner? Tf kinda noise is your boner making?

What would you have Bernie do after loosing his primary?

Ah man, you’ve got a Cadillac.

I had me an old Panasonic model at my old apartment that wasn’t as nice but goddamn if you set that MF to the strongest setting 🫨🫨. The thing would clean your ass, rectum and colon lol.

I know a guy that said he doesn’t wash around his ass when he showers because “that’s gay as hell”. I don’t even wanna know what kind of biome he’s got flourishing down there.