Not true. If the times were shorter you would still be able to pick up liquids.

What’s the letter “t” for?

Is that Santa giving head to an elf? Nice.

When I was 8 my mother brought me and my siblings to her boyfriend’s on Christmas Eve and they went out for drinks and left us with a 13 year old baby sitter. They dropped us in the driveway without bothering to let us in and his house was locked. It was snowing and we were scared. They didn’t come back until after midnight. She was drunk and blamed him and piled us into the car and took off and crashed into a snowbank. I had to go up to a stranger’s house early on Christmas morning and wake them up for help, which is probably why I am so awkward in social situations now.

Correct. The will to be racist or bully trans people. It cannot be clearer that this is what the bottom 52% of thinkers in this country wants.

The only way to win today is to appeal to the bigots and morons.

Women always will be habitually underestimated.

The person for whom the word prugly was created.

Technically made with high fructose corn syrup. I’ll allow it.

There’s a fuel distributor near me named “Just Oil (and more!)”

Seriously though. If they aren’t just selling the hotdogs, what ELSE are they doing with the hotdogs. Seems like it could be inappropriate.

Just a little bit maybe go fuck yourself :)

Do you want to go up sthairs?

If you have balanitis: wash your penis every day using just water or an emollient (moisturising treatment) gently pull back your foreskin and wash the area with warm water. dry gently after washing. if you use condoms, choose condoms for sensitive skin. wash your hands before peeing or touching your penis

Their heads are as soft as their little impotent penises.

This is a shitty meme because that dude was so religious he would never touch a wiener unless it was on the Lord Jesus Christ. Then he would personally guide it wherever his Lord desired, playing with His balls and rimming Him all the while.

You’re just making it worse.

I would have sex with this bumper sticker.

What’s the difference between my ex wife and an onion?

I might actually shed a tear if I chopped up the onion.