Pivot tables are what separate us from the ape.

What has worked (a little bit) for me…

Make notes and reminders everywhere. Everywhere. I have time blocked off on my work calendar, do this specific task at this time, do this specific task at this time, 15 minutes of fucking around time in between. I will literally make a calendar appointment for taking breaks from work. I have a Kanban board of personal tasks to work on. I have alarms on my phone and watch reminding me to take a break for lunch or when to clean the litter boxes, etc.

One benefit of having reminders everywhere is that even when I’m consciously avoiding “The Thing I am Supposed to be Doing,” there’s a higher probability that I will land on something else productive to do instead of zoning completely out. I know I need to write this report by the end of the day, but I just saw a reminder that I need to reschedule my dental appt. Great, I still did something productive. Now I’m one step closer to actually writing that report.

It’s also important to give yourself grace and acknowledge that you’ll never be perfectly productive. Sometimes my 15 minute fuck-around break last 30 minutes. That’s OK. Breathe and get through it. Find the next post-it note or block of time on the calendar that tells me what I should be doing and make an honest attempt to do that. It’s not 100% effective, but it does help set the guardrails so I don’t get too far off track.

People at my new job talk about how great our dental benefits are. I found a dentist, scheduled a new patient exam (4 month wait). They told me I needed a cleaning and scheduled it for 3 months in the future. Two months after that, they stopped carrying my insurance.

I found another dentist, 6 month wait for an appt this time, was told I needed a cleaning, got a call the following week that they were no longer accepting my insurance.

Hey bro, why you gotta post the thing I was getting ready to post?

A brand of gum and mints.

You could get one of the fingertip sensors, they’re not terribly expensive.

I am thankful that my dentist talked me into switching to a sugar-free brand years ago. Probably saved me a couple teeth so far.

Chewing gum almost every waking moment of the day. People used to assume I was trying to quit smoking, I would joke that I was actually trying to build my way up to starting.

I keep having dreams of things I need to do

And waking up but not following through

But it feels like I haven’t slept at all

When I wake to a silence and she’s facing the wall

Posters of Dylan and of Hemingway

An antique compass for a sailor’s escape

She says, “You just can’t live this way”

And I close my eyes and I never say

I’m still having dreams

You can dish it out but you can’t take it? Well, so can I!

The pizza delivery driver was murdered. It will be the cat detective’s toughest case yet. This is a very meta comic.

I’m new to the ADHD party, in part because I assumed I didn’t have it because I was never H. After reading up on it more though, I think it refers to mental hyperactivity, not just physical hyperactivity. I was never the kid that always spoke up out of turn or had trouble sitting still, but I’m definitely the one that starts/stops projects out of the blue and can’t get to sleep because too many thoughts.

I got married even though it meant waiting for every restaurant meal to be photographed and posted to Instagram before I could take a bite.

And that’s why you always leave a note!

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Want to make a “firing range” pun, but nothing’s coming to me…leaving this as a placeholder in case inspiration strikes later.

Hey, I heard you mention AI, do you mind if I give you millions of dollars in venture capital?

Ok, boomer.

I imagine you, still not getting it, yelling “Sir, sir! I said those were the adult diapers! Sir!”

They Dorf’d him.