This is worryingly similar to how toddlers react when I try to teach them how to tie their shoes

Hell, I might be a CFO now and I’ve failed to notice! Hold on, let me check… No… No, I’ve just managed to burn a microwave dinner again.

Get out. No, don’t get your coat. Just go.

Freeze! This is a stick up.

I know that’s what the comic is referencing, but I prefer to imagine they’re giving him the Henry treatment

https://ttte.fandom.com/wiki/The_Sad_Story_of_Henry

690 years since the XT line began. If they started at AA-00, we’re looking at 1,851,690 years.

River otters mostly. They have a vested interest in maximizing the amount of time humans spend indoors playing games. Funding-wise, they don’t have a many clams but they’re generous with the smooth rocks from their armpit pouches. They really aren’t shellfish.

Game progression analyst, they 100% new video games and record how long it took them to complete each task.

Playing devil’s advocate, I completely disagree. If two people are making competing arguments, only the one being needlessly contrarian deserves an upvote. Using Up/Down votes as a means to side with someone is a good way to build a Boeing 747-200 engine.

Obama’s just asking to see Trump’s birth certificate because a lot of people have information saying Trump was born in Tropicana.

David, that’s the fourth milf. We’re definitely going the wrong way!

Twice as many blank reams of paper in his healthcare plan.

No, you’ve misunderstood. She married the Bigfoot and now she’s suing because she was perfectly happy not knowing he was just a bear. They had a destination wedding in London and the divorce lawyer’s bear-wedding annulment fee was 125 pounds.

It’s got your number.

Possibly. Is your husband an ass man?

It’s simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking. I can feel their panic.

“Oh no, I did a bad. Go away bad. Oh no, oh no, they’re going to find out I did a bad chew. Bad away! Bad away now! Why is this not working?”

Just built my first fully dedicated Linux machine. Still keeping my old Windows desktop around purely because I play League of Legends and they use a kernel level anticheat, so it won’t run on VM.

Fun fact, ever since Riot made it mandatory to install their rootkit if you want to play their games, every time I try to eject a flash drive, it says it can’t eject because it’s in use - even if I just plugged it in. And that’s super comforting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hIZfvvQTLo

As someone who has played league of legends for over a decade without any notable improvement, I can fully relate.

Apparently the long part is called a liripipe and in its nightcap form, it’s used like a scarf, to keep the back of the head warm.