First you scuff and then insult my Jordans? How dare you!

It’s medicinal!

How the hell else you expect this man to stay up all night delivering presents?

Hope you got a poop knife for christmas.

Oh man, I really want to see the extraction of Muppet blood and what it looks like when Muppet-Thing-blood jumps.

Have Michel Gondry direct so he can get into weird practical effects for stuff like that, like he does. I can see the blood being made of like sparkly red gift wrapping ribbons.

We appreciate you in ways that can’t be measured by financial compensation.

This year, I’ll just drink some beers, and listen to '80s metal.

Just to make sure it pops off after fully starting up. I run a lot of old hardware, so it’s useful for me. You may not need a delay.

I actually edited my comment right as you were responding. It’s definitely broken in some distros, I think debian/ubuntu.

When all else fails…

crontab -e

@reboot sleep 300 && sudo ./myshell.sh

(this is actually broken on some distros)

Genuinely the best use of this meme format ever.

no Christmas presents for us this year

Plot Twist: Gabe Newell gets Santa Clause’d and gifts digital games.

You’ll have to give me a few minutes to dig up what episode it was. I looked on Wikipedia earlier, but all the descriptions are too short.

I just remember the wallet phone and keys getting scared by “security dog” Rocky (Scott’s dog) and wandering into a closet full of old outdated software and phones.

EDIT: Season 4, Episode 29: A$AP Rocky Wears a Black Button Up Jacket and Black Sneakers

…to stay alive, naturally.

Kind of like Chiquitita in Dan Da Dan.

Anyway Santa gives gifts in exchange for keeping him alive with sustenance one night a year.

There’s a whole ass Comedy Bang! Bang! (tv) episode about exactly these items being forgotten.

Yes, you should be concerned!

I’m pretty sure that’s a premium service you pay a monthly fee to access. Definitely does not come standard with a BMW. You’ll want to shut it off immediately to not incur extra charges to your BMW account.

at a furniture store years ago

That furniture store? Yeah it’s a crab now, too.

So does that mean Windows is a hot dog made up of all the leftover bits like beef lips?

HOT LAWYERS IN YOUR AREA WANT TO GET TO SOME STEAMY LITIGATION

Easier to care for than a succulent, tho.

Thankfully, a bunch of the episodes (but not close to all) are on archive.org!