A flat bear is what you get when a drop bear misses its target

That’s not a “never”

I know you’re joking but you basically just suggested buying a pack of frozen mixed veggies so you can pick out and use only the carrots for your stew, and the idea of someone actually doing that sends my brain into a tailspin

I love the voice change, it makes it sound like it’s saying the item with massive air quotes so suddenly everything sounds like a euphemism for something terrible

If I had a nickel for every time I was troubleshooting with a friend and discovered they thought turning the monitor off and on again was “rebooting the computer” I’d be depressingly wealthy.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.