To add even further confusion, in Australia some stores have eggs in the fridge, and some don’t

Then they stole my heart

It really is expensive to be poor

Broke: carcinisation is evidence that crab bodies are peak performance

Woke: carcinisation is evidence that crab bodies are a noob trap, because no crabs are top tier predators despite being so widespread

Your back button my choice ❌

Your address my choice ✅

Nothing weird about making sure people don’t accidentally fertilise their eggs

Instructions unclear, now the US is installing a new monarchy

🖥️🦐

Well duh it detects AI generated images that are at scale and that snail cat is way too small for it

Sadly a lot of people unironically think that these captions should be reversed, because revenge = violence and that’s Chad af and helping others is for wusses, or something

Wake up babe new dolphin fucker copyoasta just dropped

My parents in their 30s: let’s vote for Reagan

FTFY

There must be a gay Cinderella remake out there somewhere. Grindrella gets visited by the fairy thotmother, who transforms his button up shirt and black skinny chinos into a harness and jockstrap and sends him off the royal orgy. The next day Prince DomTop has to go around and top everyone in the village because it was a blackout orgy and he couldn’t see anyone, meaning the only way he can find who Grindrella was is by remembering the feel of that bussy.

Real swords have curves 😤

How can they say “lol” when they are clearly not laughing out loud?

Drag queen Amanda Tori Meating has gone on the record about her day job as an OnlyFans ghostwriter. There’s an entire industry of talent agencies that hire minimum wage gig workers to pretend to be the model you are paying $x per month to interact with.

Low key why I despise daylight savings.

I like it when I wake up early with the sun, and end the day just as it gets dark. Daylight savings forces you to wake up groggily in the dark and stay up late while you wait for the sun to set.

🖥️🦐

r/SubredditSimulator but for Twitter?

Honestly, would use it for shits and giggles.