My husband deals with that, and one thing that has helped him quite a bit is setting alarms. If he knows he is taking on an extended task, he will set an alarm on his phone for every hour or so. When it goes off, it distracts him from whatever he was doing and interrupts anything he is watching, so he is reminded to get back on task.

Another tool is accountability to another person. If he is having a bad focus day, he will sometimes ask me to bug him if I notice he is distracted for too long. Use this sparingly. I have been this person for a few people with ADHD, and using this too often has resulted in me being responded to like a parent asking their kid to stop playing games and eat their dinner. You don’t want to end up viewing your friends and partners as though they are an authority figure.

My parents had kicked me out for unrelated reasons (I was a nerd and my mom was a believer in borderline Satanic Panic BS) and my extended family had welcomed me back because my parents were generally assholes to everyone and had been told they were no longer welcome at family get-togethers. When I rejoined that extended family, they told me all about how they couldn’t imagine kicking anyone out a kid simply for being honest about how they want to live their life.

So when I came out to them a few years later, they realized that they couldn’t really say anything about it because it would make them the same as my parents. Most of my aunts have come around, and even my grandad was happy to call me his grandson before he passed away. The main holdouts are my uncles and the one aunt who is a strict Catholic despite being divorced herself. But if I weren’t to be invited, it would be a big issue with enough family members that they always ask.

Thankfully I am not entirely alone, as my one cousin got gay married last year as well, so now we joke about being the rainbow sheep of the family lol.

The traditional way this was phrased was “bleeding heart liberal”. The implication being that they were so giving as to be gullible and not realistic.

Nowadays the preferred insults are “commie” or “woke”. I don’t hear it directed at me much, due to particular family circumstances that forced them to accept my gay-married trans ass, but boy do I hear it about Democrats every year.

(I know that Dems aren’t commie or even ‘woke’ most of the time, but to them it is a distinction without a difference. To them, those terms refer to anyone who thinks that people don’t deserve to die for the ‘crime’ of being homeless.)

One of my favorite songs from Jim Croce, Rapid Roy the Stock Car Boy, has a whole verse on this!

Rapid Roy, that stock car boy, He’s the best driver in the land He says that he learned to race a stock car By runnin’ shine outta Alabam’ Oh the demolition derby and the figure 8 Is easy money in the bank Compared to runnin’ from the man In Oklahoma City With a 500 gallon tank

As a short dude (5’ 0"), you give short dudes a bad name.

You assume you know everything about everyone, you treat people like walking stereotypes instead of treating them like actual individuals, and you refuse to even consider that people are avoiding you for your personality instead of your height. All the while, you are blaming women for a problem that, even if it did exist as much as you insist, would largely be perpetuated by the men who run the clubs, not the women who can get in for free and usually just want to be left alone so they can dance with their friends.

Are there a lot of areas where we face actual discrimination because we fall outside standard height considerations? Sure, I can think of several. None of them have to do with whether I get into a club. And you don’t make your case by using discriminatory language and being a misogynistic ass.

I can guarantee you that your attitude is hindering your social life far more than your height. There are plenty of women who love short men, but so many of them end up needing to constantly worry about their man’s ego that they don’t think it is worth it.

In other words: men like you, no matter the height, are the reason women choose the bear. Grow up, solve your own insecurities, and stop assuming that you know what is going through people’s minds every minute of the day.

Bonus points: if someone asks about it, say that the bark is worse than their bite!