One of the problems that ADHDers have is they think the meds solve everything, but it only works when you have the added coping mechanisms.
Conversely, some people are only able to get to a state where they can develop those strategies after they’ve been able to access medication.
Hi, I’m writing as someone with ADHD who was not diagnosed until my mid-30s, and also as a parent of a child who is medicated for his ADHD. We both have inattentive-type (no hyperactivity).
My husband was also very nervous about medicating our son. Part of what convinced him was seeing the very positive difference it made in my life when I started taking medication. After some trial I found a dose that works well for me; it helps me to focus and stay organized, and I still feel completely myself. There are some side effects, for me mostly to do with appetite, but they are manageable.
Our son is a few years older than yours, and he’s on a low dose (10mg) of his medication, which works well for him. It does help him keep on track with things like schoolwork, but by far the biggest benefit we’ve seen is in the social/emotional sphere. He is much better able to recognize and control his emotions, and he almost never has an emotional meltdown anymore (whereas before small things would set him off very easily). He’s a happy, engaged kid.
The one thing we have to monitor with him is his weight gain. Because appetite suppression is a side-effect, his growth slowed down a lot. For a while we saw his doctor every three months (then every six) so that she could keep an eye on it. We try to feed him a good breakfast and a lot of food at/after dinner once his meds have worn off, since he eats very little during the day. At his doctor’s suggestion, he also foregoes his medication one day a week so that he can have a more regular eating day. He’s back on track with weight gain, which is good! (The meds also make it difficult for him to fall asleep at night; again, at his doctor’s suggestion, he takes a small dose of melatonin – this is over-the-counter in my country although I know it isn’t everywhere – which sets him up nicely.)
The good thing about ADHD meds is that they’re not like SSRIs where you probably won’t feel a difference for 4-6 weeks and then have to carefully wean off them. ADHD meds kick in 30-60 minutes after you take them, and their effect lasts 8-12 hours and then stops. It will be very easy to see whether they’re effective for your son, and it’s safe and easy to stop and try a different drug or a different dose if needed.
I hope that helps! Feel free to ask follow-up questions if you’d like.
Maybe stepping back slowly could help. Like if there are three AI tools that you usually rely on, this week only use two of them, then the next week only use one, etc.