One of the many ways Trump is broken, he is incapable of laughter. The closest he’ll get is to scoff, or say ‘that was funny’ after mocking someone.

Hairist? Don’t you mean a Harrier?

For a fun science experiment, you can ask friends and family whether the knives whisper to them as well. If you are rigurous in your methods you may learn whether the source is the knife, or your brain, or according to that one relative, Illuminati broadcasts from the COVID microchip.

Living in a red state it feels like screaming into a void, as unfortunately the only discernable desires from the right wing base are “please tread on me, corporations” and “please shield my kids from new ideas,” with an endless supply of pundits and politicians selling that shtick.

Yet somehow when 100% of Republicans voted against they are held blameless as they are expected to be fully servile to the corporate class, and only Democrats have the obligation to pass laws.