Yeah, it’s not how I want to go out.

The true meaning of Christmas is: it was a Coca-Cola advertisement.

Funded by PayPal.

I’m a school bus driver, and last year right before Christmas we had a notice put up banning Christmas decorations on the buses. We eventually learned that this was because a couple of parents had complained about the pro-Christianity bias of Christmas decorations, which was strange because nobody had put anything on their buses other than the standard secular red-and-green shit; like, nobody put up Jesus or manger scenes or anything like that. We then learned that the actual complaints had been about drivers encouraging the children to sing religious Christmas songs.

It turned out that the culprit was me, because I had asked the kids if they could sing “The Little Drummer Boy”. None of the (60+) kids on the bus had ever heard it so I guess some of them asked their parents about it. Ironically, I’m a fucking atheist - I just like the tune. Fortunately the ban caused a giant shit storm as all the other parents in the district complained about it and it was rescinded. For bonus points, it eventually led to the firing of the district superintendent (who was a shitbag for lots of other reasons).

They’re not in any way associated with Amazon, as far as I know. But apparently they sell their customer data to them - and immediately.

My weirdest Amazon experience was when I went to Lowe’s and bought a drill bit and a pair of cabinet door hinges, and just looked at cabinet pulls for a minute or two - didn’t buy any or even pick any up. That night, Amazon recommended for me drill bits, cabinet door hinges … and cabinet pulls. I’m assuming that I got linked to in-store footage from Lowe’s, which is creepy but certainly not suprising.

malefashionadvice

I used to visit that sub a lot about ten years ago. It looks like it hasn’t changed a bit in that time - it even still has the same little fit drawings on the top bar. Has male fashion somehow frozen?

deleted by creator

deleted by creator

GOTO is overrated. On Error Resume Next is where it’s at.

As long as you’re not talking about Italy lol

My favorite quote from this movie was “first rule of leadership, princess: everything is your fault!”

I prefer his “jeweled self-dribbling basketballs” to “elves”.

Lol I’m a school bus driver and a number of my colleagues vape on the fucking buses. They imagine they’re being super-secret about it - they’re somehow oblivious to the giant cloud of smoke each hit creates. Never underestimate the power of nicotine addiction to force people to relentlessly push the boundaries of where and when.

It has to completely ruin the taste of whatever you are eating

Smoking really destroys your tastebuds so it’s not like smoking while eating makes a huge difference anyway.

a freaking huge industry to kill all the whales in the sea

One of the wildest aspects of this was that they did it from fucking rowboats. I’ve never understood why the whales didn’t just leisurely swim away from that bullshit.

Brian Thompson looked pretty well-marbled for a CEO, to be fair. Cook 'im low, cook 'im slow.

That’s crazy talk. Your teeth aren’t part of your body or anything!

Coyote playing with cat.

remote controlled blimp

I always wanted to get one of these and program it to follow me around the disc golf course with my bag slung underneath it.