I literally saved this image mere seconds before seeing this thread 🤣

Got it from here:

https://lemmy.world/post/23483577

Stop typing up that misogynist manifesto and scouting crowded public spaces. Instead, become the hero you wish you were and do us all a fucking favour. I will personally ensure you have the fattest commissary in history for the duration of your life sentence.

Also fails to mention mastery of nunchucks?

Haha bless 'em. He’s a handsome chap!

It should be pointed out that had the Holocaust and WWII not happened, Nazi Germany was still an unmitigated nightmare that no one but the Nazis themselves were enjoying very much. There were and are plenty of authoritarian and fascist states where genocides don’t happen, but which are nevertheless hell on earth for everyone who’s not a functionary of the state.

So even if you think it’s hyperbole to worry about extermination camps in the US, there’s absolutely nothing hyperbolic about a dystopian state coming into existence in which dissent and difference are crimes. Donald Trump and his band of dead-eyed sadists like Stephen Miller will do whatever they can in a second Trump term to bring such a state to you.

Nazi comparisons are completely justified.

I feel only slightly less ridiculous asking for Steam Controller support in games 😆 But I will keep asking because I fucking love that controller.

This story unlocked a hitherto forgotten memory in my brain of this video from an anti-gay conference:

https://youtu.be/T_nEzYwakrs

I’m still not sure if this dude was a colossal troll or if he was dancing in earnest with a complete lack of self-awareness. Either scenario is fine with me, and the world is a better place for it.

We grew up watching those dudes get butchered in increasingly-grotesque ways by a diverse conglomeration of psychotic murderers and animals, both natural and supernatural.

I’m good with my plain black t-shirt that’s long enough to serve as a dress because I’m fat and need uberlength shirts to make it over the curvature of my Moo Deng pregnancy and still have enough fabric left over to not leave me looking like I’m wearing a cummerbund made from pale hairy human skin.

Fat guy dress > being split vertically, starting at the willy, by an industrial saw because I unknowingly spent a summer afternoon in a swimming hole that once hosted a cruel gang of teenagers who pretended to befriend a lonely man with a deformity and subsequently caused him to drown in it by shoving him off the rocks into the water even though they knew he couldn’t swim.

This is the only way Bill Gates can go to the grocery store unaccosted.

This is what it feels like to be on disability even if you never go to the chocolate factory 😆

This is why I keep my front door key in my foreskin. Either I evade the pickpocket, or I make a new friend. I cannot lose.

As a younger man, I was able to unlock the door hands-free. These days, I need to fish the key out of my floppy beige KKK hood like a sock trapped in a duvet cover on laundry day.

What happened to my precious meme? 😭

😭 the only thing worse than an animal going extinct, is being the last member of the species who still has a life left to live. Jesus, that’s some profoundly, cosmically depressing shit. And I’m not sure if it’s better or worse for the animal to be aware that it’s the last of its kind. Fruitlessly calling for a mate, or knowing there’s no point bothering.

You just use two forks, with the prongs on one fork filling in the slots of the other. They call this practice ‘spooking’.

So this is surely enough grounds to sue, if not criminally prosecute, this cunt.

If at 53 I’m sending tweets like this to female celebrities half my age, please humanely euthanise me at your earliest convenience. For my sake as much as everyone else’s.

You couldn’t make Taxi Driver today, because Travis would have already died by suicide in a school shooting before reaching adulthood and getting a job. Plus watching Travis’s nihilism growing not out narcissistic disgust with the seedy underbelly of New York, but out of love for the seedy underbelly of 4chan, wouldn’t really have the same kick to it.

When you’re 100 words short of a 200-word essay.

“I simply collapse wave functions” is the only defence a peeping tom requires.

Is it supposed to? I mean, a Jaguar doesn’t look like a jaguar either 🤔 But if they market it as being designed around a nautilus’ shape, then yeah it sucks haha